“Time heals all wounds” is perhaps the worst cliché used in grief. Just this week TODAY reported Bindi Irwin’s interview with Australia’s Sunday Style where she said she “could never fully accept it when people told her ‘time heals all wounds.’ Bindi went on to say, “There really isn’t a greater lie. It’s just not true. It’s like losing a part of your heart, and when you’ve lost that, you never get it back. Part of you will always be missing.”
What is “Time” anyway? We sit and stare at the clock on the wall as its hand chase one another in an endless circle, dictating what to do and when to stop doing it. The hands squeeze into one another, never fully stopping, and then start their circling once more. Time even seems to have its own contradictory language. “Time flies.” “Time stood still.” “Too much time on your hands.” “Not enough hours in the day.” In fact, in an attempt to help us understand its meaning, the dictionary has 64 entries for the elusive concept of time. Our finite minds simply cannot fully understand time. To a child waiting for Christmas, time drags its feet in slow motion. To the adult watching the anticipation in the same child, time seems to be racing at breakneck speed.
The truth is that time is just a concept we use to measure minutes, hours, days, months and years. In our humanity, we watch a clock or flip pages on a calendar trying to understand this creation of God which marks the duration of life and which is measured by changes in the created order. You see, time doesn’t heal. It only passes, and its passage is dictated by God according to His unfolding purposes. Some days this time will pass quickly with very little pain. Other days, it will seem to drag endlessly and the pain will cut deep. It is what we choose to do with time that affects our steps along this grief journey. Even when the perfect forever of Heaven seems so distant that you wonder how to make it through the now. Even when eternity seems veiled in the fog of today. Even when the grieving feels lonely because enough time seems to have passed to heal those around us while we still struggle silently. Even when time has taken the edge off the acute pain in an effort to protect our minds, but unexpected waves of grief still leave us battered. Even when today feels no different than yesterday. Even when the ache of the open wound of our heart’s loss is covered with a scar, yet is still missing a piece. Even then, choose to place your trust in our timeless Savior. Don’t just sit in the place of your pain and sorrow and wait for something to happen. Stand up and take a step toward the only Healer. Spend your time choosing to see Him through the pain.
Don’t look at the hands of the clock. Its fickle nature will only leave you feeling confused and conflicted. Instead, look to the Creator of Time who has no clock as we know it with a face of finite numbers or with hands that measure the passing of hours. Instead His face radiates glory and His hands reach out to embrace you and wipe away the tears that fall even after the passage of much time. He understands your scars because His hands bear scars also. These scars have your name on them and testify to His steadfast love for you which was firmly established before creation. Take His hand, walk with Him and fix your eyes on hope.
“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.”